Dixit
Calumnia Stricklandi Bancae
I.
dixit ‘te amo, puer, te amo tantum’.
dixit ‘te amo, parvule, o, o, o, oo, oo’.
dixit ‘te amo magis quam dicere possum’.
dixit ‘te amo parvu-u-u-le …’
II.
Itaque dixi ‘ita non est ut dicis, puella.
quomodo me amare potes?
Hac nocte convenimus.’
sed dixit: ‘verum puer te amavi ab initio.
quando primum audivi de amore aliquid in meo corde incanduit.’
dixi: ‘noli garrire. discede statim et ianuam claude. (dixit)
III.
‘sed te amo puer, te amo tantum.’
dixit ‘te amo parvule, o, o, o, o, oo.’
dixit ‘te amo magis quam dicere possum’.
dixit: ‘te amo parvu-u-u-le.’ (quod ita sit.)
IV.
itaque in basilica sto causem dicens, testem exsistens,
quaesitori iudicibusque referens quod vigilantibus dixi
illo die deprehensus sum, ‘sum innocens’ confirmavi.
Se percepit repudiata, eius cor fractum aliquo obsessi,
quippe qui amans mea musica,
quod deditam meis musicis facit.
hac de causa amor eam dementiscet,
non secernens virum ab musicis.
et narro hoc omne in loco
dum mea puella in portico lacrimat.
est magis quam umquam designavi,
consimilis illo cantico a Zutonis, ‘Valeria’,
sed iudices id credere nolunt,
et illud me nervosus facit.
compressis manibus sedentes, vultibus detorquentibus non credentibus,
sanguinarii oculi adfixi mihi,
me concludere volunt et clavem abicere,
me dimittere quamvis eos dicam ut …
V.
dixit ‘te amo, puer, te amo tantum’.
dixit ‘te amo, parvule, o, o, o, o, oo’.
dixit ‘te amo magis quam dicere possum’.
dixit ‘te amo parvule, e, e, e, e …’
VI.
itaque dixi ‘in nomine Tartari cur convivis abjecte?
non scis amorem, si autem hoc scias non facias.’
She Said
I.
She said ‘I love you boy I love you so’.
She said ‘I love you baby oh oh oh o-oh.’
She said ‘I love you more than words could say.’
She said ‘I love you ha-a-a-a-by.’
II.
So I said ‘What you’re saying girl it can’t be right.
How you can you be in love with me?
We only just met tonight.
But she said ‘But boy I loved you from the start.
When I first heard love goes down something started burning in my heart.’
I said ‘Stop this crazy talk, leave right now and close the door.’ (She said…)
III.
‘But I love you boy I love you so.’
She said ‘I love you baby oh oh oh o-oh.’
She said ‘I love you more than words can say.’
She said ‘I love you ba-a-a-a-by’ (…Oh yes she did)
‘But I love you boy I love you so.’
She said ‘I love you baby oh oh oh ooh’.
She said ‘I love you more than words can say’.
She said ‘I love you ba-a-a-a-by’ (…Oh yes she did).
IV.
So now I’m up in the courts pleading my case from the witness box,
Telling the judge and the jury the same thing that I said to the cops
On the day that I got arrested, ‘I’m innocent’ I protested.
She just feels rejected, had her heart broke by someone she obsessed with,
‘Cos she likes the sound of my music
Which makes her a fan of my music,
That’s why love goes down makes her loose it,
‘Cos she can’t separate the man from the music.
And I’m saying all this in the stand
While my girl cries tears in the gallery.
This has got bigger than I ever could have planned,
Like that song by the Zutons, ‘Valerie’,
But the jury don’t look like they’re buying it,
And this is making me nervous.
Arms crossed, screw faced like I’m trying it,
Their eyes fixed on me like a murderer’s.
They wanna lock me up and throw away the key.
They wanna send me down even though I told em she …
V.
She said ‘I love you boy I love you so’.
She said ‘I love you baby oh oh oh oh.’
(Yes she did.)
She said ‘I love you more than words can say’.
She said ‘I love you ba-a-a-a-by’.
So I said ‘Then why the hell you gotta treat me this way?
You don’t know what love is. You wouldn’t do this if you did.’
Translated by Rupert Willoughby, 3 December 2014
View the original at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQjh9H-ymK4.
